When I became a brand new mother at the age of 26, life, as I'd known it previously, was no longer. It was a wonderful new normal to be a mother and have a family and it thoroughly changed me for the better. The maternal instinct was strong within me throughout my life and this one event completed me. I was blessed to be given this precious gift of motherhood subsequently, three more times.
When they place that newborn on your chest in the delivery room, they don't tell you about all of the possibilities to come. They don't warn you about heartache. I suppose that would not be the time and place for that. Truthfully, nobody ever prepares you for the worst; those are just events that happen to us and we are forced to face them, unprepared, when they do.
As most mothers do, I had hopes and dreams for my first-born child, for all of my children, but different hopes and different dreams for each of them. This child would go far in life and he would conquer the world with his gifts and talents! Turns out that his path was different than what I'd imagined it would be. Coming to terms with that and fully accepting it will mean that I have another new normal to embrace...that, for me, is the most difficult part of grief of all.
I wrote this poem for my first son and for all of the parents (most especially the mothers), who are forced to live with a new normal that they were not prepared for in advance. If you replace some of the words, the poem is relevant to many situations that did not turn out the way you'd expected them to. I've faced this reality twice, with both of my sons; one with addiction and the other with neurofibromatosis.
Brandon Stephen Roat, Obituary and Eulogy: http://nfsaid.blogspot.com/p/brandon-stephen-roats-memory-page.html